He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation;  for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.

Reflections of Cipher 8 Entry 4

All the reports are in: Using force lightening is fun! I met up with Stryks and he lead me on a “dream walk”. He entered my mind and we walked through my dream together. It’s how he discovered what the cause was and how I could stop having them but still retain the emotions from them.

The dream… The dream where my father’s hand takes away all my loved ones, saving Keshiri for last. Keshiri… So powerful, beautiful, and the apple of my eye yanked from me by a man who’s hell bent on ruining my life from beyond the grave. Darth Gian Stryks explained to me that my father inserted (?) a part of himself into me and that continues to haunt me. If I didn’t do something soon, he would ruin everything I’ve worked to built, and destroy all I’ve grown to love.

To that end, I decided to take on a second master and learn Stryks’ dream walk technique. It is where he can make himself a part of a dream and it can lead me back to the source. I chose to go on this path because I want to use this technique to help the people I’ve grown to love and cherish. Maybe I can teach Keshiri this so if one of us is haunted by dreams, we can band together.

Now part of learning is this is being able to use force lightening to power a speeder for an hour. I’ve been working on this all week throughout the day. Once in the morning as soon as I wake up and my hatred and anger over the dream is still fresh in my mind. That’s when my saber techniques and force lightening reaches its peak. Although it wanes come evening, I’ve still managed to retain most of my anger and hate, so it doesn’t wane that much and the speeder is still powered for an hour.

Before I meet Darth Stryks again… I think it’s time I told Keshiri about this. I know I should’ve done so right away but that’s the joys of our line of work: Busy, busy, busy… and why didn’t I tell him on Dromund Kaas? Ah yes, Aylen was in need of assistance and the Marcus thing… Well, I already have my explanation for that and hopefully he won’t be too cross with me about it.

Reflections of Cipher 8 Entries 2-3

Entry 2- Nightmares!

I had a nightmare! Keshiri and I got back from Nar Shaddaa… I said my good night. And I jolted out of bed in the middle of it because of a nightmare. I don’t get it- my parents are dead because I killed them. So why am I being haunted with them yanking my loved ones away… First it’s Noxturna, then Xovota, then my new friends Foha and Silooni… and lastly it’s Keshiri. He usually suffers the worst of deaths.

Not the first time this has happened. It happened last night too and the night before that. I thought if I showed off Keshiri enough on NS, maybe it would go away. Not so much… I tried chatting with Darth Decimus. His advice was for me to channel my anger and hatred from the dreams into battles and perhaps it’ll help me sleep better. I tried that immediately after and it only made my nightmares worse.

I don’t know if Keshiri is aware of them. He always seems to be rested and rejuvenated every morning. Perhaps over our- force bond is it?- connection he can’t tell if I’m having nightmares. Or perhaps he can and he’s just waiting for me to tell him. I am shaking my head right now- They’re just dreams. Perhaps they’ll disappear when my parents’ estate is my own and we make my memories of abuse melt away when we give ourselves to each other fully and then some?

Either way, these won’t bring me down aside from overtly showing him off and killing who dares to try and take him away… Oh, I do hope Xovota doesn’t ask me about them. Cause then she might end up telling him because if she as

Entry 3- Philosophy of Dreams

Since I can’t come out and say to anyone, not even my dear Sith Master, who only seems to ensure that I collect my debts from people who owe me dances and I care about being a more proper Sith in public, that I am having trouble with nightmares I will find the information myself. After all, Sith are supposed to be independent. An independence I have no problem taking advantage of. Hence why I managed to dig and find a variety of texts on dreaming from across the force spectrum.

You know, force users have interpreted dreams in many ways over the years. Jedi and Sith alike have seen dreams as visions of the future, reflections of the past and even themselves… In some ways, I like the way Jedi look for meaning in dreams. In fact, digging up in intelligence’s archives some of the books the Empire confiscated for no reason, the Jedi do borrow a bit of their understanding of dreams from both psychology and their spirituality.

Yes, I am looking up Jedi books. Why? Because I like having a well rounded education. I know my dreams are sort of a reflection of the past. I dream about the abuse I suffered under my parents hands and I am forced to reflect on it. So I did during my meditation. This is where I was able to combine my studies with the Sith understanding of dreams. While I’ve noticed the Sith don’t really write about dreams, I know the teach more about harnessing those strong emotions from dreams. Some of them, such as Darth Traya, wrote about how people use a poison in order to understand it. And others show how to turn an enemy into an ally, and a disease, mental or physical, into a weapon.

From my meditation, I realized simply killing my parents did not fully break their hold on me. My dreams show that, and my strong reaction when I see abuse and bullying prove that… Not to mention, I was ready to march over and kill Lord Morcant for daring to think he could mistreat Aylen… as well rather face torture and reprimands than let Sith apprentices have their fun with say a humble elder on the streets of Kaas City. Such strong emotions… and they all emanate from me and my hatred for my parents and anger over what they did to me. There is power in that just like there is power in my love for Keshiri, my attachements to my allies, and desire for vengeance against the Republic for driving my people from OUR home when we weren’t a threat anymore. Sorry Jedi, but I can’t repress and suppress those. They are a part of what makes me me, and they give me power… power to change things and become a powerful warrior.

I took my findings to Darth Decimus. He was pissed I went to Jedi stuff. He probably let Keshiri know… and he tried to punish me. But I was ready for him! His force powers tried to control me and give me pain but I channeled the anger and hatred I felt against abusers and it fueled my shields. And I sent a force wave that pushed him back! I thought my eyes glowed during our battle… I made the glass crack in Keshiri’s museum. He was pleased with it and said he would inform his old apprentice of my progress. That’s right, Darth Decimus… I ain’t taking that kind of shit from some dead guy!

He then asked why anything from the Jedi, especially when I clearly used Sith stuff to fight against him. I said it’s because a warrior keeps his enemies closer to him than he does his friends, AND a true philosopher is not afraid of philosophies he disagrees with. Besides, me sort of imitating the Jedi’s abilities to reflect on things, I was able to connect my nightmares to the philosophies of those like Darth Traya and Darth Sion. I will use my nightmares in order to understand them and turn them into a weapon… Hence why I do my saber stuff as soon as wake up after one instead of later in the day when the dream fragments have disappeared for the most part.

I’m faster, stronger, and I think I’m progressing… But I won’t know that for sure until Keshiri and I have a chance to actually train together in awhile. In fact, aside from cantina on Dromund Kaas, he’s been rather busy… But that’s the joys of the military. And it’s also the joys of the whole dancing thing. I know… I’m a big flirt, especially around straight guys because they’re fun to troll sometimes with my flirting! And I guess that’s what I was taught to do… It’s amazing what flirting, and a nice night on the town will do to a person. In fact, they like to tell me everything afterwards! Oh intelligence… Anyway, the people I flirt with like that never come back because they’re not supposed to. Either they get away from the gay guy, or they end up dead because they used up their purpose as far as I’m concerned. But Marcus didn’t… He’ll be a good ally I think. He understands and is a different kind of force user that doesn’t follow the crowd… Just like I am in many ways. Though I owe Keshiri for that… I will be careful to only be flirty with him, or something or other… Perhaps another nice dinner? Or wait for him to seek me out?

Perhaps I’ll keep plugging away and wait for him to seek me out… For now, I have a contact to meet: Darth Gian Stryks. Noxturna gave it to me. He knows a lot about the spiritual nature of the force. Perhaps he can help me harness my dreams.

Reflections of Cipher 8 First Entry

((I’m sorry I’ve disappeared for SO long… didn’t mean to. But now I have more written pieces to add. This one is about Crimsen… it’s his IC blog :) ))

The Sith are idiots.

That’s what I used to believe about them. And I was convinced nothing could change my mind. Sith are idiotic, arrogant bullies. They can’t even be nice to their own people, nevermind the galaxy at large. That was it; that was all I could see when I looked at those sadomasochist morons running the Empire.

I know, this is very odd coming from a Sith Pureblood. Not the first time I’ve been called that. Odd, rebellious, heretic, potential traitor… But that’s what happens you shake off Sith training and bury your force sensitivity so deep down that not even the Force itself can find it. I was convinced the day I started force training, was the day Sith and Jedi became best friends. The name is Crimsèn, or Cipher 8 as I got designated in Intelligence. I loved being a Cipher, and I suppose I still do to some degree.

How did I come to these conclusions? My home life, and from learning more about the Sith Empire at large. As the only son and heir of wealth Sith Lords, it was only natural that I’d be tortured and beaten up for simply looking at them wrong. It made perfect sense why they’d enslave their own people, and treat them worse than me (I got fed 3 times daily; some weeks they were lucky if they got fed once). Of course, their logic failed on me: There was absolutely no reason beyond because they could that I was reduced to a pile of flesh barely being held together by broken and incapacitated bones. The more I thought about them way back in my teenage years, the more I despised what they became and the more I flatly refused to be like them. So fuck you, Korriban, because I aint visiting there with a training sword on my back!

Being in intelligence was how I could serve the Empire, and for the most part ignore the Sith and the force. I joined at the age of 17 and quickly one of the best agents intelligence had to offer. I was good at it too: I have never gone anywhere or done anything. People have disappeared while I’ve been “at my desk” or miraculously defected while I was “out of the sector.” And that’s how I liked it: Hiding in plain sight, becoming very big via being very small. People in intelligence were for the most part my allies, colleagues, and friends. They weren’t my slaves, tools or objects.

So what the hell am I doing getting a training sword, and preparing for my lover to teach me basic lightsaber techniques??? How did I end up here? How did I go from “The Sith are idiots” to wanting to be trained as one? The answer is simple, yet complicated. The simple version is I met someone and he changed everything: My opinion of the Sith, what it meant to be a true Sith, and the place the force has in my life were slowly altered.

The long answer is that one day I met a General serving on the Dominator. It was when I was stationed at Nar Shaddaa… I went to the barge their to mingle, as a good Cipher does, and out of the blue I hear “My, aren’t you a handsome young man! Allow me to buy you a drink.” I go over that moment a million times: How did the man I’ve grown to love more than I thought possible ever garner interest in me? He probably saw me put away my rifle before entering the barge. He probably could tell I wasn’t trained. Was I simply different? Were there no young pureblood men available? I have no clue to this day, and I don’t think he does sometimes either. What is clear to me is that he was the most handsome, understanding pureblood I’ve met.

True, he doesn’t like people who are not pureblood at first, if at all. Some call it racist, I call it him not wanting out civilization to be lost to foreign invaders anymore than it already has been. Those of our kind are the true Sith, after all, not simply those who wield the darkside. That was the first thing he made sure I had drilled into my head. You know, after years of being told I was garbage and a disgrace to Sith society, it was refreshing to hear someone tell me that I am a Sith by blood, regardless of my occupation. Then his use of the force in ways that weren’t simply bullying… He’s graceful on the battlefield. Don’t tell him I said that as I would die of embarrassment on the spot. He’s so muscular, strong… doesn’t actually depend on the force for everything. Not to mention he doesn’t treat his allies like dirt… No wonder I care for him and I have little doubt he cares for me.

Hence why I finally decided to let him train me. I’ll make it clear: He never forced Sith training on me. In fact, he said I may have made a wise decision picking intelligence over Sith training! Sure, he showed me some occasional tricks ranging from the force being awesome in bed and helping my aim, but that was it. He never gave me a ticket to Korriban, nor did he make me hold a lightsaber. I think the first thing ever held between was an occasional dinner date, and of course many embraces. I love his embraces: They’re so warm and so strong… It makes me sad that until I officially inherit my parents’ estate, I can’t show to the whole of the Empire how wonderful his embraces are. Someday… Someday…

For now, I just stand watch on the bridge of the Dominator watching him survey everyone with a commanding demeanour that I can’t help but look at with awe. Thankfully I look away before he can catch me… I don’t want to distract him, after all. Since I’m the intelligence officer on his ship, personnel don’t bother me much. I often stand and observe what’s going on in order to determine both what is normal, what is out of the ordinary, and who doesn’t belong there at all. It’s amazing how simply observing can explain away so much, and narrow in on targets I’ve been hunting.

If he’s not here, he’s training in the gym. The gym is full of exercise equipment and weight training. Though I haven’t used them up until now, he is at those training dummies all the time. They’re resistant to everything, including lightsabers… and he was always there while I was lifting weights. And I was afraid the sight of him would make me melt into the floor. Sometimes I think he was putting more grace into his movements to ensure my eyes were glued on him for a little bit.

It’s just too bad we can’t be seen doing more romantic things… like going on dates in the cantina. I’ve been there a few times when I needed a drink, and some alone time.  Some officers bring their dates here, but not us.

I understand that in the military, professionalism is key. I also know that I couldn’t be blatantly obvious while my parents were alive. They were the ones who killed two men, who they suspected were a couple, right in front of me with the threat “If you do as they are, you will become as they are now.” Not very encouraging for a young man who was trying to come to terms with his sexual and romantic orientation.

Still, I am tired of hiding. My parents are dead now, so there is no threat there. He and I don’t really have to hide we care about each other on the Dominator. Enough rumours  going around the crew convinced me our relationship is the worst kept secret- though neither of us blatantly came out and said we’re a couple, never mind sleep with each other. The Dominator’s men jumped to that conclusion on their on. If it weren’t for the fact that I think Kesh shut Admiral Shye up the hard way, I’d still be laughed at as the General’s “new toy”…

Come on guys, if I was really the general’s toy do you honestly think I would’ve lasted this long? Hardly! Either he would have laid me and then tossed me aside or forced me to undergo his training instead of waiting until I asked.

In the meantime, it’s Sith training and learning Sith philosophy for me! Thankfully, it’s real Sith philosophy, not the Korriban stuff. Thankfully, a branch of Keshiri’s quarters contains many things from holocrons to artifacts. (It contains perfect make out spots too, but I’ll wait til I’m more trained to point them out…)

Hopefully someday I’ll be the Warrior of the EmpireI was supposed to be all along.  I’m happy I chose to ask him to train me. Mostly because I trust him to train me in a way that isn’t Korriban, but also because I want to do it for him.  As awesome as it is to be his intelligence officer… I did, and do, dream of charging into battle along side him with sabers drawn, and ready to beat back the enemy.

 

Lord Cytharat Romance Chapter 6

Lord Cytharat and I headed back to the gravity hook to meet Katha Niar. He and I discussed briefly how I was able to aid the leaders of the people towards resisting the Hutt Mercenaries. While victory may not be won today, I am glad I was able to give them a fighting chance.

It also gave my another chance to show off for Cytharat.  He seemed impressed at my battle tactics. I also like to think he was happy to get off that boring gravity hook and spend more time with me. Would it surprise you to learn I couldn’t help but glance at him a few times during my meeting with Makeb’s civilian leaders? I think he too was glancing at me!

As we walked, Lord Cytharat changed the subject abruptly: “Did intelligence give you room to have many relationships?”

I stopped at the question and turned to the Sith Lord. I said, “Oh, uh… why do you ask?”

Cytharat replied, “I am curious. It is not everyday I am drawn to someone.”

I nodded and then was silent. In intelligence, bonding with people was part of the job description- sex, money, power… anything to get people to talk.  And those who were not seduced for career purposes were either killed on a mission, or they betrayed me. That was the nature of intelligence work… and something that could turn Cytharat off. Last thing most peopel want to hear from a potential lover is their track record in the romance department could’ve been better. Yet, looking into his eyes, I knew I couldn’t gloss things over with him.

Cytharat looked away and said, “Is this an uncomfortable subject, commander? Perhaps I overstepped my boundaries.”

I pulled Cytharat close to me so he had to look at me in the eye. I said, “First, you will never overstep your boundaries with me, Cytharat. I will always be Crim first and commander second as far as you are concerned. As for my hesitation…  It’s just that I’m a little bit afraid of how you will react to my answer.  I must admit I am drawn to you and coming to care for you… I don’t want to push you away.”

Cytharat replied, “Oh? Have they been that bad.”

I shook my head. “Well, no,” I began to answer, “But it’s just that in intelligence romance is more of a tool to get information from people or place individuals in a state where they are willing to trust you. The only real relationship I’ve had lasted  5 years. It was with a diplomat named Vector Hyllus… He became a joiner on Alderaan by the time I met him. I was drawn to his loyalty,  calm nature, and beauty. Those were the best 5 years of my life and I was willing to bind myself to him for as long as we lived. Unfortunately, he returned to Alderaan and got killed during some fighting between the Empire and the Republic.”

Cytharat nodded silently. I still had my arm around him. Although he didn’t push it off, I let go and made it so we were more face-to-face. I continued to speak: “Other relationships… Well, there was one where I was in Republic space with a man who was disguised as a Jedi. I liked him… but we both agreed it to be a one time thing… Then the next morning I woke up to being in a detention centre with that bastard laughing along with my captors. As you can imagine, I am out to kill that chiss ‘jedi’ first chance I get.”

Cytharat nodded. He then said, “Hmmm… So, you would be a risky person to be with in other words?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes,” I answered as I leaned closer to him and stared at his lips, “But life isn’t worth living if risks are never taken. And I think you’re a risk worth taking.”

Cytharat stepped back a bit and said, “Indeed…”

I sighed. He’s not ready for our lips to meet yet… Hopefully he’ll change his mind soon. “How about you,” I asked, “how has your romance life been?”

Cytharat replied to me, almost sadly, “I was in one for 6 years prior to recent times.”

I asked with concern, “You seem sad saying that- What happened?”

Cytharat replied, “He and I were almost inseparable until he betrayed me and sided with the false emperor.”

Cytharat paused and sighed before saying with a hint of hate in his voice, “And for that, I killed him.”

Cytharat is loyal to the Empire. I wonder if I could chose political loyalty over emotional attachment? Hopefully I will never have to answer that question. I asked him as we kept walking, “Was it hard to choose politics over love?”

Cytharat replied, “Politics over love? As in was it hard to kill him? I suppose it was… But my first loyalty is to the Emperor above all.  For that reason, I am hesistant to become attached to someone again.”

I asked, “Is this your way of saying you’re really not that interested in me?”

Cytharat shook his head. “No,” he replied, “I am simply cautious.”

Thankfully, I’d rather change the Empire from within than send an army on everybody’s ass. I told Cytharat, “Cytharat, the idea of becoming a Sith in terms of fancy powers and lightsabers turns me off, I am very much a loyal Imperial. So, you really have no reason to be cautious.” 

Cytharat nodded slowly, registering what I said. “So… the chances of you say joining another rebel?”

I replied, “Slim to none, and slim skipped our galaxy. If I really wanted to betray the Empire, I wouldn’t have joined intelligence but found a way to defect. I didn’t defect and I have zero intentions of defecting.  However, being cautious around me is a good thing…”

Cytharat raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”

I nodded before saying, “I have had quite interesting evenings being under the influence of blood rum…”

Cytharat chuckled and I noticed  he walked closer to me as we made it to my speeder- a black nightscythe. It’s one of my many pride and joys… a reward for aiding the Empire during our battles on Denova. Cytharat asked, “You took your own speeder?”

I laughed at that. “I always use my own vehicle,” I said before asking, “do you not have a ride back?”

Cytharat replied, “I will be fine, commander as  I have 250 credits to take the taxi back-” and it was interrupted by me- “Stop! Just wrap your arms around my waist and I’ll drive you back. We should get back before Katha Niar throws a fit.”

Cytharat freezes a bit before climbing behind the back of the speeder carefully. He wraps his arms around me slowly as I start up the engine. I tell him, “Relax, I don’t have cooties… Atleast,  I didn’t during my last medical examination which was a month ago.”

Cytharat laughs at that as we head back to the skyhook. Eventually I felt his chin rest against my back, and his breath against my ears and neck. If it weren’t for the fact I had to drive, I may have turned around and tasted him for the first time. After all, Katha Niar wouldn’t mind if two Sith took time to enjoy our passion- It is what our species likes to do! But… Cytharat and I had a mission. I’m sure another opportunity will come again.

To be continued…