He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation;  for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.

Lord Cytharat Romance Chapter 5

I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t mix romance and business together anymore. Here I am, on Makeb, getting ready to blow up tanks and route mercenaries and all I can think about it is another date with Cytharat. It’s amazing how this man has captured my attention so quickly. Very few of my past relationships have been able to do that.

Cytharat said he wanted to see me again, of course, but it had to be one with little chance of interruption. Something tells me only secured isotope-5 will free both of our schedules…

I’ve been going over possibilities this night. I love doing work at night time, as it removes my chances of being seen.  It’s so funny being perched on a cliff and raining fire down on those unsuspecting mercs! They’re all looking around thinking What the fuck… and then one-by-one they die at my hand.

Of course in the middle of my shootings I ask a fundamental question: Why am I blowing up these tanks instead of perhaps having a warm, naked, Cytharat in my bed? Come to think of it, why is Cytharat not down here with me? He’s missing all the fun! Not to mention, I’m missing being able to see him in action. Did Katha Niar forbid him from coming down? Just because he and I are attracted to each other doesn’t mean we won’t set it aside on the battlefield.

“Finally,” I mutter as HK and I destroy the last of the tanks. “Come on HK,” I say more loudly, “We need to contact the team up top.”

I set up a small holocomm and contact them. Cytharat and Katha are the first to greet me.  I say, “Hello, Lord Cytharat,” in a more seducing voice before putting the professional one on, “The hover tanks have been destroyed, and the mercenaries routed.”

Lord Cytharat replied, “We have observed the enemies’ flight. Riots have begun across the planet.”

Katha Niar continued his thought, “The hutts have ordered the execution of anyone not carrying ID. The mercenaries are demanding a raise.”

I try to casually throw out a suggestion: “Lord Cytharat should come with me next time; staying in the gravity hook means he misses all the action!”

Cytharat smirked a bit before re-assuring me, “We will fight together on the battlefield soon enough. For now, the honour is mine to watch you.”

I replied, “You’re watching, are you? If I had known, I would’ve worn a better looking outfit. See anything you like yet? “

Lord Cytharat raised a brow at my reply before saying, “While your current outfit is fine, Cipher, I was more content with what you wore near the end of our drinks earlier.”

I blushed a little bit as Katha Niar face palmed before replying, “Can we move on? There is something else we must discuss!”

I look at her and say, “Oh? I hope it’s not how you interrupted our drinks earlier…”

Katha sighed before continuing, “No. Unfortunately, some of the civilian leaders are reluctant to take this opportunity to strike. We think they’re laying low and regrouping. But if we’re going to steal the isotope-5, we need the civilian leaders organizing a full-on revolt. Can you push them?”

I replied a bit smugly, “Earning the loyalty of anyone is what Ciphers can do best.”

Cytharat spoke up, “Really? I’d like to witness that first hand.”

I replied, “Come join me during the negotiations… if Katha is all right with that?”

Katha Niar nodded before saying, “So long as it remains professional.”

I rolled my eyes at her before saying, “Don’t worry, we aren’t going to make out!”

Cytharat nodded before leaving the camera. I turned to her to listen to further instructions- Cytharat watching me negotiate? I’ll have to look my best!

——————————————————————————————

I smiled at Cytharat when he managed to find me. I said, “Not exactly a date, but it’ll do for now.”

Cytharat chuckled, “Indeed. Thank you for granting me this opportunity, Crim. I have always wished to see intelligence at work.”

I pouted jokingly. “And to think I thought it was purely so you could watch me closer,” was all I said as we headed out to where the leader should be.

Cytharat replied in a voice that gave a way a bit that he was blushing, “I… Uh… well of course I am interested in seeing that too.”

I replied, “Alrighty, I’ll stop torturing you. I’m sure there will be some time later for more of this discussion, and tossing our clothes off.”

Cytharat replied, “I do hope you’re interest in me is for more than that.”

“Of course I am,” I replied as we entered the building, “if you were just a shallow Sith with no depth, I wouldn’t be interested.”

We enter the room and our conversation is cut short by blasters pointed at us.  A man with shades says, “Don’t move, Sith! Not one move!”

Cytharat says nothing but I feel… Is that his voice in my mind. He says, “Listen to their voices…”

I think back, “Cytharat?”

Cytharat replied, “Ah! Crim, you are force sensitve… Good.  I can tell they cannot defeat you, yet they are defiant.”

I nod slowly before speaking back, “They won’t be for long.”

I turn to the gunmen and say, “I’m looking for the person in charge- Polus Avesta. Where is he?”

The man behind the desk replies, “Right here,” before signaling his men to lower their weapons.

I say, “Excellent. We need to discuss matters.”

He replies, “Indeed we do. I received your message. You freed the settlements and I’m grateful, but why would the Empire get involved at all?”

I reply, “The Hutt Cartel must be stopped. Hence why Lord Cytharat and I, representatives of the Dark Council, are here.”

Lord Cytharat says, “We’ve given you an opportunity to strike back against the Hutts. You should seize it and organize a planet-wide attack.”

Avesta replied, “And if I refuse?”

I replied, “Then blow up the hover tanks yourself next time.”

Cytharat spoke to me telepathically, “I liked that response. It was full of fire…”

I smiled inwardly as Avesta kept talking. I said to him, “If you want, I can give you a bigger taste of my fire quickly when all this is done…”

Cytharat shook his head slightly, “Unfortunately, we promised Katha we’d keep things professional.”

I frowned at my companion before saying, “Later, though?”

Cytharat nodded with a smile as we headed to meet more of Makeb’s leaders.

 

Words

Warning, this is going to be very long… but I can’t hold it in anymore. If you read this, you might not like me anymore. But… TBH, I really don’t care. I just want silence, and I think I get it by letting it all out.

You’re just frustrating to be around. Everyone finds you frustrating, I find you frustrating. You are just a constant frustration.

Why didn’t you apply for this job months ago? Can’t you get anything done on time????

You stink. Don’t you take a bath once in awhile?

All you do is screw up.

Why do you play that game every single day?

Why can’t you make real friends? Those people online aren’t friends!

Don’t you know you have to focus on your schoolwork? School work right now is all you are.

Video games are violent, they promote violence, and are just plain violent. Can’t you play something else?

You are just conservative and narrow minded. All you see is what you want to see. No, I don’t care if you’re liberal in some ways. As far as I’m concerned, you are and always will be narrow minded!

All I saw you do in the summer is fun stuff like video gaming. There’s no way you’re focusing on your school work.

B+ isn’t good enough! You need to be in the A range. Doctorate programs won’t accept any lower.

You only have this much of that assignment done???? Why didn’t you start it earlier!!!! You suck! You deserve your low mark!

I can’t believe you went and got medication for depression. What’s it going to do? It won’t solve anything; besides, the depression is probably your fault anyway. You just make excuses for your lazy behaviour!

Why are you so slow to respond to me? Why are you slow when walking? Why are you so slow, slow, slow!!!

You need to lose a few pounds. Don’t care what the doctor said to you about you being the perfect weight for your height. Don’t care that we don’t have a scale to weigh you. As far as I’m concerned, you need to lose weight.

You’re having eggs again??? All that cheese?! Can’t you eat healthy for once!!!!

Can’t you wear something besides black all the time?

Stop talking to me about what interests you, cause face it, it just aint interesting.

You’re talking about religion, again?! It doesn’t do anything for you.

I know, I just said tonnes of awful things to you in a practically screaming manner. You’ll probably walk with this all day. But that’s your fault because you take what I say personally.  Don’t take that stuff personally.

It’s your fault their words hurt you because you can’t rise above them and not listen to them.

No matter how big or how small, spending money on video games is a waste of money. I don’t care if I go spend money on my favourite hobbies, as you’re not allowed to do the same thing.

Don’t you know I’m above criticism? I can criticize you all the time, but don’t you DARE criticize me as I’m perfect about everything.

What you believe about God is wrong. You need need to believe more like me.

Yeah, you might have asperger’s… but it’s your fault for that social blunder. It’s your fault you’re an introvert.

It’s your fault, your fault, and always your fault.

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

Ha! I might not follow Jesus, but you do, and you just did something against Jesus! And for that, you suck!!!

I’m tired of it!!!! I know you can’t help your asperger’s sometime, but I’m tired of it!!! No, I don’t care if it hinders you from understanding social cues and stuff like voice tone, so you yelling at me was probably an accident. I’m still tired of it!!!!!

Face it, you’re hobbies and stuff just aren’t interesting. Not interested in talking about them with you. Why can’t you do more productive stuff for once?

You’re just frustrating to be around. Everyone finds you frustrating, I find you frustrating. You are just a constant frustration.

Why didn’t you apply for this job months ago? Can’t you get anything done on time????

You stink. Don’t you take a bath once in awhile?

 

All you do is screw up.

 

Why do you play that game every single day?

 

Why can’t you make real friends? Those people online aren’t friends!

 

Don’t you know you have to focus on your schoolwork? School work right now is all you are.

 

Video games are violent, they promote violence, and are just plain violent. Can’t you play something else?

 

You are just conservative and narrow minded. All you see is what you want to see. No, I don’t care if you’re liberal in some ways. As far as I’m concerned, you are and always will be narrow minded!

 

All I saw you do in the summer is fun stuff like video gaming. There’s no way you’re focusing on your school work.

 

B+ isn’t good enough! You need to be in the A range. Doctorate programs won’t accept any lower.

 

You only have this much of that assignment done???? Why didn’t you start it earlier!!!! You suck! You deserve your low mark!

 

I can’t believe you went and got medication for depression. What’s it going to do? It won’t solve anything; besides, the depression is probably your fault anyway. You just make excuses for your lazy behaviour!

 

Why are you so slow to respond to me? Why are you slow when walking? Why are you so slow, slow, slow!!!

 

You need to lose a few pounds. Don’t care what the doctor said to you about you being the perfect weight for your height. Don’t care that we don’t have a scale to weigh you. As far as I’m concerned, you need to lose weight.

 

You’re having eggs again??? All that cheese?! Can’t you eat healthy for once!!!!

 

Can’t you wear something besides black all the time?

 

Stop talking to me about what interests you, cause face it, it just aint interesting.

 

You’re talking about religion, again?! It doesn’t do anything for you.

 

I know, I just said tonnes of awful things to you in a practically screaming manner. You’ll probably walk with this all day. But that’s your fault because you take what I say personally.  Don’t take that stuff personally.

 

It’s your fault their words hurt you because you can’t rise above them and not listen to them.

 

No matter how big or how small, spending money on video games is a waste of money. I don’t care if I go spend money on my favourite hobbies, as you’re not allowed to do the same thing.

 

Don’t you know I’m above criticism? I can criticize you all the time, but don’t you DARE criticize me as I’m perfect about everything.

 

What you believe about God is wrong. You need need to believe more like me.

 

Yeah, you might have asperger’s… but it’s your fault for that social blunder. It’s your fault you’re an introvert.

 

It’s your fault, your fault, and always your fault.

 

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

 

Ha! I might not follow Jesus, but you do, and you just did something against Jesus! And for that, you suck!!!

I’m tired of it!!!! I know you can’t help your asperger’s sometime, but I’m tired of it!!! No, I don’t care if it hinders you from understanding social cues and stuff like voice tone, so you yelling at me was probably an accident. I’m still tired of it!!!!!

Face it, you’re hobbies and stuff just aren’t interesting. Not interested in talking about them with you. Why can’t you do more productive stuff for once?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!! I can’t stand these words anymore.

 

I refuse to blame myself for words people say to me. All. The. Time. Worst of all, they blame me for internalizing them, instead of blaming themselves for giving them to me.Are you happy that this is the part about you I carry with me almost daily?  Or do you just want to yell at me some more, and criticize me some more?

Response to 2006 Massey Lectures- The Ethical Imagination

This is my book review/lecture review of the 2006 Massey Lectures series. Margaret Sommerville is one of Canada’s leading ethicists. Currently she is the director of the Centre for Medicine, Ethics, and Law at McGill University. There she holds the Samuel Gale Chair in the Faculty of Law and is a professor  in the Faculty of Medicine. She is a consultant to governments & nongovernmental bodies around the world. and in this series she addresses both how we can approach a shared ethics, and how we can use it to address many ethical questions in our world surrounding technoscience, repro technology (reproductive technology), and bioethics.

The lectures were a pleasure to read, and to listen to on CBC’s website. Here are the 5 Lectures:

  1. Part 1: Going on The Ethical Wallaby
  2. Part 2:  A Poetry of Ethics
  3. Part 3: Old Nature, New Science
  4. Part 4: From Homo Sapiens to Techno Sapiens
  5. Part 5: Past Virtues for a Future World

In my review, I looked at how she is a perfect example of a postmodern ethicist and how postmodernism has changed the ethical landscape. I then end it with my Christian response to her findings and the subjects she talks about. Continue reading

GraduateStudies

“Oh, you have to go to school…” And Encouraging Grad Students

First of all, I want to thank everybody who has encouraged me during my academic journey. Oftentimes, your words were the difference between me settling for an undergrad and  pursuing my education clear through to the doctoral level.  I do thank God everyday for your presence in my life.

What this article is about is “encouraging” that isn’t really encouraging, as well as trying to explain part of the reality of graduate and post-graduate studies.  My reasoning for this is that just like comments have the power to push people forward, they also can stop people dead in their tracks. While I’d like to say other people don’t have an impact on me based on what they say, they do and I think it is important to raise a bit of awareness. Continue reading